Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Quality Time From a Quality Husband and Father, #46

Today, I am standing on the shoulders of giants.  Two really good posts from the Catholic Dads Blog.  The first one is from Wednesday of last week, and it points to Fr. Wade Menezes' Ten Commandments of a Husband and Father.  Good stuff.  I couldn't agree more with the Jason's statement that it is a great meditation and couldn't come at a better time than during Lent.  Find the document here at the bottom of Father Meneze's bio page.  Two of the commandments that really touched me were:

  1. Get your priorities in order: Jesus first, your wife second, your children third, your work fourth, etc. Develop a weekly schedule, blocking out quality time for the Lord, your wife, each child and the family as a whole. A husband’s most important time during any given day is the first five minutes when he gets home from work and the love and attention he shows his wife and children at that time. Remember that your human fatherhood is rooted in the Divine Fatherhood of Almighty God (cf. Ephesians 3:14-15; cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2214).
  2. Spend quality time with each child. Treat each child in a unique and personal way. The power of a father’s affirming love is tremendously overwhelming and something truly wonderful. Children need it. They require it for their full and proper development. Let each child share his or her ideas, feelings, fears and problems with you. Do everything in your power to ensure that your child can always approach you in any matter. Be sure to share periodically with your wife your insights concerning each child. Discipline with firmness and love (again, your model here is that of the wise and prudent king who rules over the inhabitants of his kingdom with a firm, but great love and not of the master who rules over his slaves).
Text in bold with italics is my emphasis.  The second point above struck me and gave me pause.  This is something that I really need to work on.  At the end of the day I am tired and I am usually stressed out about work or something that I need to do from the seemingly never ending task list.  When I get home it seems all I want to do is have dinner, get the kids to bed, and veg out.  How Selfish!  Not only that how am I making them feel if my attitude is such that I'm trying to get rid of them (by wanting to get them to bed) as soon as dinner is over.

Indeed, how selfish.  I really need to change this and take this commandment to heart.  I need to make sure that I spend good quality time with each one of the kids so that I make sure they feel loved by me.  So from this point forward, I am resolving to spend good quality time with each child either before dinner or just after dinner when getting home from work. 

The other post, entitled "All work and no play..." reinforces both of the commandments I listed above.  It talks about quality time with the family.  When I do spend time with my family, it has to be good quality time where I am present, thinking about them and concentrating on them.  Giving them my all.  All to often we come home from work and we are still thinking about a problem that we have to figure out. Because as men, that is what we do, solve problems.  But our family needs us to be ever present in their lives.  They need quality time from us.  When thinking about it, this is a no brainer.  They deserve it.

Taken with our other actions, it only makes sense.  After all, in everything we do, don't we try to give our family quality things?  Quality home, Quality clothes, Quality food, Quality Education, Quality Toys.

Don't they need Quality Time with a Quality Husband and Father?

Set in order of priority:  There is a time for the Father, there is a time for Family, and there is a time for work.

I have been working on spending more time with the Father by increasing how much and the quality of my prayer time.  I now need to spend more Quality Time as a Quality Husband and Father with the family that I love.

St. Joseph Pray for us fathers.

Blessings

Tim

P.S.  I was originally going to call this post #46 because I couldn't think of a title and this is my 46th published post.

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