Prayer for Patience

I have a problem with patience. There is nothing wrong with patience, I just don't have enough of it. Through the Father, all things are possible. During my prayers, I ask for help with patience. One day, I was struck with the thought that I need to write a prayer for patience. Here is what I came up with. Be gentle.

My Father,
only through you are all things possible.

By your Grace, I am made whole.
You complete me.

Help me to recall
- the joyful noise that was their first cry.
- the unconditional love I felt when I first held them.
- the joy and pride in each small accomplishment.

Help me to remember that they are a precious gift from you. Left in my care for what seems like a lifetime but is gone in the blink of an eye.

That however impatient or angry that I may be with them, they will learn from my words and actions. Help me to remember that by teaching them these things, I am perpetuating that which must stop.

Help me to remember that I am called to protect, teach, and above all, love them as you love me.

Help me to unshackle myself from
- the stress and fatigue of the work day.
- the crush of the pressure from the World.
- the anxiety from the uncertainty of these tough economic times.

Father, I know that through you, all things are possible. Complete me with the grace of patience and perspective so that I may fulfill my sacred duty as husband and father.

Lord Jesus, pray for me.
Your Holiness JP II, pray for me.
St. Joseph, pray for me

Amen

Blessings

Tim

Feast of St. Joseph is the Real Father's Day

March 19th was the Feast Day of St. Joseph. This blog post from Catholic Dads prompted me to ask the family to change the Father's Day from the Hallmark dictated day to this wonderful feast day.  They agreed!!

I guess that this is also the tradition in Italy and Spain (link to a homily discussing St. Joseph and the feast day).

What better way to celebrate Father's Day then on the day of one of the greatest fathers!

Blessings

Tim

My Greatest Fear

As I mentioned in a previous post, when I am away from the kids, I miss them deeply. I reflect on my relationship with them. One of my reflections this past week and a half?

My greatest fear:  Not being a part of my kids life. Not seeing them grow up.

Tim

To Love and Serve the Lord

1. We were made to love and serve the Lord.
2. We are given a vocation. Either to love and serve the Lord as a religious or love and serve the Lord as a husband and father.

As a husband and father, how am I to love and serve the Lord? To love my wife and children as the Father and his only Son have loved and continue to love me. Ultimately, to boil it down, my job, my vocation, how I am able to love and serve the Lord, my reason for existence is to ensure that my children are able to love and serve the Lord.

QED

Tim

Ton of Bricks - A Solution?

Jen and the kids were off to Michigan to see family this past week for Spring Break.  I was unable to go with them because we usually spend quite a bit of time during the summer and Christmas there and I could not afford using up my vacation.  Besides I had to go to Espoo, Finland on a business trip.

When I'm away from my daughters for a while, I begin to miss them deeply. There is a hole in my heart that causes me to reflect on my relationship with them. In a one of my first posts, "Ton of Bricks", I talked about how I could be pretty overbearing. I've prayed for help with this and I have been blessed with some assistance, but I know that something else has to change. This past week has allowed me to take a step back and think about it more.

Jen, God bless her, is much more even keeled than I am.  She is slow to anger and able to handle the kids pretty well in almost every situation.  Whereas I am more quick to anger and more things tend to rub me the wrong way. She knows when it is time to discipline and she is not afraid to pull out the "wait till daddy hears about this" card.

When I get stressed out, my personality is such that I become more controlling. I'm wired to try and control my environment with the assumption that if I do, my stress will be relieved.  Unfortunately, this leads to more stress for myself and everyone around me. Things start to downward spiral. I can see that my oldest is not doing well when handling whatever stress she may have, I think that she is getting it from me.

To that end, I'm going to try and "let go" in regards to handling the kids when they are misbehaving.  I will take my cue from Jen. I will try to be as patient as she is and help discipline when she needs my help. I need to be more even keeled in order to provide a better example for living with others for my children.

St. Joseph, pray for me and all fathers.

Tim

God is Good

I was in Finland last week.  Intercontinental travel, especially short trips can be tough because your body clock gets all out of whack.  Case in point, no matter what time I went to bed last week, I woke up at 4am Finnish time.  This made for some very long days!

While in Finland, I had the opportunity to discuss Christ with someone.  Over several hours we were able to share our thoughts and feelings about our faith. He was a fellow engineer with a young daugher who believes as I do. That the more you analyze and put creation under a microscope, the more you have to realize that there is a creator.

We also talked at great length about the relationship we have with the Father and how this mirrors our relationship with our children.  It is so good to meet people that share your beliefs.  It is even better when you are able to talk about those beliefs together.

God is Good.

Blessings

Tim

Quality Time From a Quality Husband and Father, #46

Today, I am standing on the shoulders of giants.  Two really good posts from the Catholic Dads Blog.  The first one is from Wednesday of last week, and it points to Fr. Wade Menezes' Ten Commandments of a Husband and Father.  Good stuff.  I couldn't agree more with the Jason's statement that it is a great meditation and couldn't come at a better time than during Lent.  Find the document here at the bottom of Father Meneze's bio page.  Two of the commandments that really touched me were:

1. Get your priorities in order: Jesus first, your wife second, your children third, your work fourth, etc. Develop a weekly schedule, blocking out quality time for the Lord, your wife, each child and the family as a whole. A husband’s most important time during any given day is the first five minutes when he gets home from work and the love and attention he shows his wife and children at that time. Remember that your human fatherhood is rooted in the Divine Fatherhood of Almighty God (cf. Ephesians 3:14-15; cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2214).
2. Spend quality time with each child. Treat each child in a unique and personal way. The power of a father’s affirming love is tremendously overwhelming and something truly wonderful. Children need it. They require it for their full and proper development. Let each child share his or her ideas, feelings, fears and problems with you. Do everything in your power to ensure that your child can always approach you in any matter. Be sure to share periodically with your wife your insights concerning each child. Discipline with firmness and love (again, your model here is that of the wise and prudent king who rules over the inhabitants of his kingdom with a firm, but great love and not of the master who rules over his slaves).

Text in bold with italics is my emphasis.  The second point above struck me and gave me pause.  This is something that I really need to work on.  At the end of the day I am tired and I am usually stressed out about work or something that I need to do from the seemingly never ending task list.  When I get home it seems all I want to do is have dinner, get the kids to bed, and veg out.  How Selfish!  Not only that how am I making them feel if my attitude is such that I'm trying to get rid of them (by wanting to get them to bed) as soon as dinner is over.

Indeed, how selfish.  I really need to change this and take this commandment to heart.  I need to make sure that I spend good quality time with each one of the kids so that I make sure they feel loved by me.  So from this point forward, I am resolving to spend good quality time with each child either before dinner or just after dinner when getting home from work. 

The other post, entitled "All work and no play..." reinforces both of the commandments I listed above.  It talks about quality time with the family.  When I do spend time with my family, it has to be good quality time where I am present, thinking about them and concentrating on them.  Giving them my all.  All to often we come home from work and we are still thinking about a problem that we have to figure out. Because as men, that is what we do, solve problems.  But our family needs us to be ever present in their lives.  They need quality time from us.  When thinking about it, this is a no brainer.  They deserve it.

Taken with our other actions, it only makes sense.  After all, in everything we do, don't we try to give our family quality things?  Quality home, Quality clothes, Quality food, Quality Education, Quality Toys.

Don't they need Quality Time with a Quality Husband and Father?

Set in order of priority:  There is a time for the Father, there is a time for Family, and there is a time for work.

I have been working on spending more time with the Father by increasing how much and the quality of my prayer time.  I now need to spend more Quality Time as a Quality Husband and Father with the family that I love.

St. Joseph Pray for us fathers.

Blessings

Tim

P.S.  I was originally going to call this post #46 because I couldn't think of a title and this is my 46th published post.

Sorry for the missed post

Emily's Birthday was on Saturday.  We had a big party with a bunch of her friends at Pump It Up. Here is a picture of the birthday girl with her Tinkerbell cake.

So, after a long string of posts regularly scheduled for Saturday mornings, I slacked off.  Sorry!  I do have some good stuff coming though.

Look for "the post only an Christian engineer could love" this Saturday.

Blessings

Tim

Giving Glory to the Father

How do we give Glory to the Father?  For some it is through great works of art or sculpture, music, their vocation to religious life, or through their work.

For those of us not called to a specific vocation where we can express our love of God and give him glory through our talent, what are we to do?

How about through how we raise our children.  Could it be through this humble and most challenging of vocations, that we give Glory to the Father?

Blessings

Tim

How about being a better husband, too?

I've talked a lot about being a better father, how about being a better husband?  Better father, better husband, better person.  It's all part of the faith journey.

 I am Husband is a pretty good blog.

Blessings

Tim

Pulling on the Father's Arm

Note:  the genesis of this post came from something that happened to me before I started Blogging.

One day I was working on the computer. Well all right, I wasn't actually working. I was on Facebook catching up with what was going on with my friends.  Anybody who is on Facebook knows that it can be addictive. There seems to be a deep seated desire within us to want to be up to date with what is going on in each others lives as well as to let everyone know what you are doing.

It was after dinner and the girls were running around the house playing. My youngest came up to me, started pulling on my arm and said "Daddy, Daddy! Play Monster Chase!"  Monster Chase is a simple game where I basically chase after them with my arms up in the air like Frankenstein and growling like some ferocious monster. Other times I chase after them as "Grandpa Pants Monster" where I hike up my pants over my belly button with my shirt tucked in. After chasing them for some time I will either tackle and tickle them for a while or let them tackle and tickle me. It is great fun.

Anyways, it had been a long day and I was feeling selfish. I did something in retrospect that was very foolish and regret. I brushed them off and said "Not now." I really have no excuse for my behavior. Thinking back, I should have dropped what I was doing and started chasing them around. I do not want to set an example for them that it is ok to "blow off" your children.

Does the Father do that when we are in prayer or carried away in the Spirit so much that we are pulling on his arm to enjoy his presence and love?  Of course not.  A couple examples in Scripture come to mind. The Annointing in Bethany (John 12:1-8) and Mark 10:13-16. Now I realize that the passage Mark has other theological implications, but it also me that even though the Lord was busy trying to save the world, he could still make time for kids.

Since then I have made a concerted effort to make sure that I don't miss out on these opportunities.  But it is tough.  With all of our obligations and work and responsibilities.

I just don't want them to know that every moment with them should be peace and joy.

Blessings to you all.

Tim

Does the Father Beam with Pride?

Does the Father Beam with pride when we do something that is according to his will? How about when we are baptized or after our first Sacrament of Reconciliation and Eucharist? What about when we are confirmed or have a reconversion that brings us back into his Grace? Does discovering our true vocation give him a warm feeling from the fact that our actions will bring him glory?

Why am I asking this? Because of the pride I feel whenever one of our daughters hits a milestone in their development. It is these milestones, both small and large, which really make parenting a joy. I'm writing this a couple of weeks after our oldest, Emily, that did something that made me extremely proud. Let me explain.

Emily has a couple of jobs to do when she gets up in the morning. They need to be completed before coming down to breakfast or climbing into bed with Mommy and Daddy. These jobs are nothing major:  make her bed and give the cats fresh water. Giving the cats fresh water is an important one because she would like her own kitten and she is trying to prove to us that she can be responsible.

Well, Sunday morning was very cold here in the Pacific Northwest. I heard her get up and give the cats some fresh water and I expected to her to make a beeline for our bed. After about 10 minutes, she was a no show.  Concerned, I got out of bed and walked over to her room. I opened the door to her room, and there she is lying on her 95% made bed, covered with a blanket.  "What are you doing?" I asked.

"It's cold, I'm warming up", she said.

"Why didn't you come into bed with Mommy and Daddy?"

"I didn't finish my jobs."

I was stunned and couldn't have been more proud. My little girl was showing responsibility. She was starting to understand the difference between knowing what she had to do and what she wanted to do.

I scooped her up, gave her a big hug, carried her into our room, and plopped her on our bed so that she could snuggle up with us.  (The only thing she hadn't done was putting her stuffed animals in place. Good enough in Daddy's eyes.)

So does the Father beam with pride when we hit a milestone in our faith journey? When we are baptized, confirmed, have our first reconciliation, and our First Eucharist? What about a conversion? What about when we conform ourselves to His will? How about the little things like this? Is he looking at the both of us with a smile happy that we are doing ok, learning from each other?

Blessings to you all.

Tim

I am blessed to be a father

I'm headed to Herndon, VA for work this evening.  Nothing like a red-eye to help balance work and life.  :-)

Here is a going away present from Emily. Jen laminated it and I'm going to attach it to my laptop.

This has to be one of the best going away presents...Ever. Makes the red-eye all worthwhile.

Blessings to you all

Tim

Blessed are those...

Blessed are those that can begin to understand and feel the love ofthe Father before they become fathers.

I wish I had put down the "shields" to His Grace a lot earlier in my life. I thank Him for penetrating those shields and for his only Son for showing us the way.

Blessings

Tim

Wondering

As I continue my faith journey and am learning more about my relationship with the kids and with the Father, I wonder if my daughters will be asking the same questions and having the same insights.

Blessings

Tim

Sharing Peace and Joy

Every encounter with the Father through prayer and the Sacraments fills us with joy and peace. Why shouldn't our children's time with us be any different? The peace and joy of His Grace is always there for us to ask for and take part in. Why shouldn't it be like this for us and our children

Granted, there is a time for discipline and keeping them on the straight and narrow. But when they come home from school, is it just business as usual? Or do you greet them like the father when the Prodigal Son returns home?

Our lives are so complicated, so busy, so hectic, so stressful. It's a tough thing to create this "bubble" of the Kingdom of Heaven around our children. It's worth it though, isn't it?

Blessings

Tim

Facebook and Reconnecting with the Pleasures of His Creation, Part 2

In my previous post I talked about reconnecting with the pleasures of His Creation. Namely, enjoying everything around me because all things were created by Him through his Son.

At this point you are probably asking yourself, what does this have to do with your Blog - "fatherhood and the Father"? The Father has created this world for us to enjoy so that we can love and serve him. It is a gift to us that we must take care of.

And this gets me to the point. Together with my wife, we have created a small microcosm of the world in our house and their little "bubble" of life which consists of mommy, daddy, the pets, and the house. This little microcosm is their little world created by my wife and I. Just as the Father has created this world for us to enjoy and show us his love, it is our duty to ensure that our children's world is as secure and enjoyable as our love for them is deep.

A difference in my mind, and I know there are many but this is the one that is relevant for me at this point, is that we do not create this world for our children in order that they serve us. Quite the contrary, we create the world around them so that they learn to be loved, to love, and to love the Father and his only Son.

Blessings to you

Tim

New Addition to the Blogs I Follow

You might have noticed that on the right hand side of this page is a list of other blogs that I follow.

I found the blog Letters to Liam while visiting another blog I follow: Catholic Dads.

Anyhoo, Letters to Liam is a great blog about raising a special needs child. It started out as a way for a father to write letters for his newborn child once he had become an adult. Liam's Down Syndrome has changed the focus of the blog, and it is quite inspirational.

It is reaffirming that there are other dads out there who have found the blogging outlet useful for talking about their relationship with their children!

I'm adding Letters to Liam to my list of blogs and hope that you get a chance to visit the blog and be sure to check out the introductory blog post.

Blessings

Tim

A reflection of the True Light

Last week went well with the kids. Sunday was a tough two year old day. Monday didn't start out any better. At some point I was wondering if we were going to have to get some warranty work on her baptism. ;-)

It is amazing where the Father can point you when you ask for help.

I came across this blog post entitled "Amazing Grace" on Monday night as I was doing some random searches on catholicblogs.com. Wonderful story. Wonderful testimony. I won't spoil it for you. Go ahead and read it. I wouldn't be able to do it justice.

Not that I have it terrible by any stretch of the imagination and don't get me wrong, this isn't a case of "thank God I am not in that situation". It's two things. First a realization of how fortunate I am to be called to the vocation of being a husband and father. Something that I need to remind myself of constantly.

Secondly, the story is inspirational on so many levels. I don't even think I could list them. For me,

• despite the many issues, they kept trying to have children
  
• They adopted a baby and if you read the blog post on fatherhood, you will feel the how this father has made a "quantum leap" in his vocation as a father.

I can identify with these quantum leaps. It is like a switch goes on in your soul that says you are in a different place in regards to where you are at with respect to your fatherhood.

The father, Bill, is a reflection of the True Light.

I don't want to spoil it with any more words. Needless to say I am inspired to be a better father. The best father that I can be.

"reflected in another source of light
when the moment dies
the spark still flies
reflected in another pair of eyes"

Chain Lightning, Words by Neil Peart, Music by Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson

Pray for Grace. Pray for Bill. Pray for all fathers.

Blessings to you all

Tim

Friendship

Great little homilette about friendship. I couldn't agree more about how Aristotle sees friendships. How do you see your friendships? For economic purposes, because their good humor or interesting viewpoints, or because we see reflections of our ideal selves?

If we think of these different levels of friendships in terms of light, which type of light are you drawn toward? Hopefully you are drawn more strongly toward the true Light of Jesus Christ. It is this glimmers of this light that we see in people who exemplify the ideal qualities that we would like to see in ourselves. Those people that are reflections or prisms of the true Light.

So to, I have to be a reflection of the true Light to my children. I need to strive to live a life such that they are drawn to friendship and respect because of the glimmer of the true Light in me rather than the other types of friendship.

I pray that I can be a light for my children.

Not only to my children, but my wife, friends, co-workers, etc.

Blessings to you all.

Tim

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